Something I REALLY wish I could do.
In high school I took a spanish class because, even back then, I really wanted to be able to speak another language. Unfortunately I managed to get the spanish teacher from hell. Or maybe I was the student from hell. I won’t deny I wasn’t the best… Okay, yes, I was a bad student. But I really did want to do well in this particular class. I really did. But everyone has a specific way they learn and his way of teaching did not mesh with my way of learning.
His method was simple - Sink or swim. He handed us a spanish novel the first day of class. We were supposed to write a paragraph on the first chapter by the end of the week. I just looked at it blankly. “ummmm, I don’t speak spanish” I thought to myself. This was quickly followed by the thought - “I am SO dead.”
I looked around the room and everybody was commenting on how cool the idea was and how they looked forward to learning this way. Others were already digging through the novel and translating from their spanish textbook. “This is INSANE” I thought. I can’t learn like this.
So I did the next best thing. I tried to fake it.
The rest of the week I pretty much ignored everything that was going on in spanish class. I was confident in my ability to wing it. Like I said, not the best student.
My paper went something along these lines.
-This was a fascinating book and the main character was someone I can totally relate to. The things the main character did were remarkable and I hope to someday do many of the things they did. I feel truly inspired.-
Granted there was more to it but that was the gist of it. A full paragraph of nonsense. A total bluff. Notice how I even managed to avoid using genders. I didn’t even know if the main character was a male or female. I was hoping for a solid “C”. I was NOT expecting what happened next.
Later that week I was called to the principal's office where my parents were waiting. Along with the school psychologist. I was totally confused. I mean, yeah, I was a bad student - but not THAT bad. Until they brought out my paper and began to talk to me about it.
Apparently the book was a murder mystery and the main character in the book was the serial killer.
Ouch. Longest lecture I ever received.
And I still can’t speak spanish.